First, I want to say: you do you.
Second, I want to say that this post has nothing to do with the Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” I just happened to have 13 points in this post.
If losing weight is your goal, I have no right to comment on that. It’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it.
In this post, I’m sharing my opinion, part of my story and backing up why I choose to not promote weight loss or teach people how to lose weight. If you’re on a weight loss journey, this post is not meant to change your mind or anything.
Are you trying to gain muscle while training for something? Great. Are you improving your diet because you just want to live a longer life? Awesome. Are you exercising more and eating more balanced meals because you just want to have more energy during the day? Sweet. Do you!
Here’s why I personally don’t promote weight loss with my content and products.
1. The diet and weight loss industry sucks
I don’t want to be a part of the industry that makes money off people’s insecurities and keeps them in a perpetual state of not thinking they’re good enough.
Diet products and diet meal plans make customers feel like they’re the problem when the products/plans don’t work… when in fact it’s that these products/plans are simply not that sustainable. Weight loss, in general, isn’t sustainable. More on that later.
2. Life is more fun when you’re not trying to change your body all the time
Imagine waking up, getting dressed and not criticizing your body in the mirror. And eating meals without thinking anything other than about how it tastes.
Or imagine not comparing yourself to other people and not thinking any negative thoughts about the way you look or feel in your clothes. That doesn’t come with intentional weight loss.
It comes with self-love, compassion, acceptance and knowing that your body doesn’t define who you are as a person.
When you stop worrying about how you look in terms of your weight, you suddenly have all of this brain space to think about other more meaningful and important things.
3. Women, especially, don’t need to take up less physical space
I feel like women are already programmed to strive for only one thing in life: to please people. To be what society expects us to be (small, pleasurable to look at, not take up too much space). Have you ever seen a Disney movie? Exactly.
We make less money, it’s harder for our voices to be heard… weight loss only perpetuates this.
I don’t want to shrink myself and take up less physical space in a world where it’s already hard for me to matter as much as men do.
Your body is more political than you think.
4. Reaching a weight loss goal is never the end of trying to lose weight
If you’ve ever lost weight, you know how addicting the compliments are. But if you reach one weight loss-related goal, you start looking to the next weight loss-related goal.
Or you reach your “goal weight” and can’t go back to your normal eating habits because the diet is the only thing keeping you at this goal weight. So you’re just going to be on this diet for the rest of your life? I’m not sure how realistic that is.
In fact, chances are low you’d be able to sustain a diet long term. Here’s why:
We’ve all heard that statistic that 95% (or more) of people who pursue intentional weight loss gain back all the weight they lost within five years, and the majority of those people will gain back *more* weight than they had initially lost—and that’s because our bodies were designed to protect us from famine. – Christy Harrison, Anti-Diet Dietitian & Intuitive Eating Coach
5. Food has no morals
Your size doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else. What you eat doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else either.
When you’re trying to lose weight, it’s easier to fall into the trap of thinking you’re not good enough when you “fall off track” or have a “cheat day.” Then the next day, you feel like you have to restrict… and you feel like you’re a good person because you’re exhibiting more self-control.
When I say it out loud like that, doesn’t it seem kind of silly? You’re not a better person just because you said “no” to free pizza at work when deep down, you wanted it.
6. Weight isn’t the only indicator of health
We have to look at the whole picture if we want to live healthy lifestyles. We have to consider sleep, genetics, stress, exercise, food, mental health, history of health issues, etc. Weight is just one small part of it.
Several studies have proved that obese people can be metabolically healthy while some thin people (or people who look healthy) are more at risk to heart disease. In the studies, it had more to do with exercise ability (like how easily one could walk on a treadmill) than weight or body shape. Obviously, this isn’t the case for ALL people of these sizes, but just because someone looks overweight doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly healthy!
If you want to learn more about this, I’d also check out the Health At Every Size approach There’s some really eye-opening information here.
7. Does losing five pounds make a difference?
When someone says to me “I want to lose five pounds,” my first thought is… why?
What’s the point? How is weighing five pounds less going to improve your life? Will you suddenly be more confident?
If your self love and self-esteem is based on how you look, you’re never going to get to the level of confidence you COULD reach if you learn to base it off other amazing parts of who you are. Learning how to love yourself at any size is harder, but it lasts longer and won’t disappear when your body changes (and it will).
8. Your body is going to change (again) in the next 10 years
Even if we all reached our goal weight, our bodies are going to change again and again depending on our age.
A few years ago, I longed for the body I had at age 18. If I had that body at age 26, people would be concerned about my health. It would look weird.
Your body is going to change. Let it happen and appreciate it for what it is now. Instead of trying to turn back time (impossible), focus on treating your body as well as you can now so it can function best at whatever age you are.
9. It’s easy to go overboard with health with weight loss in the picture
I think in our current culture, we go overboard with health and food choices. It becomes a competition of who can eat the most organic food. Or who can find the best organic, gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, oil-free, dairy-free pizza… even if they have zero food allergies (lol)
This practice, in particular, drove me so crazy I stopped following accounts on social media that went so far out of their way to find these types of “healthy” products despite not having any food sensitivities or allergies. Going overboard like this just makes health more complicated when it’s really simple.
I want to teach people how to check off the box of healthy eating and move on. Not dwell on each choice, but eat well enough to function.
10. Weight loss makes it convenient to avoid deeper issues we aren’t dealing with
When people who have no history of health issues tell me they want to lose weight, I always think about the deeper issues.
Why don’t you love yourself? What’s the real reason?
And do you think you will find love easier if you lose weight? Do you think you’ll be more successful if you lose weight? Can you really love yourself AND want to change your body to fit the thin ideal? If your jeans don’t fit, why not just buy new jeans? What’s the big deal? Are you just trying to control something in your life because you feel out of control? Why are you scared of your natural weight? Are you scared of being fat? If so, why?
Weight loss is never the answer. Personally, I found that dealing with my self-love and confidence issues head-on was more effective than trying to fit the thin ideal.
I had problems when I weighed 132 pounds. Those problems didn’t vanish when I weighed below 120 pounds. I still have problems at the weight I’ve maintained through intuitive eating… but I don’t use food or deprivation to deal with them anymore.
11. Life doesn’t start at your goal weight
Weight loss is not the purpose of life. Weight loss doesn’t get you closer to finding or executing your purpose in life.
Everything good in your life that has happened so far and everything you’ve accomplished happened DESPITE your weight.
There are so many more meaningful endeavors to pursue than trying to be smaller for a certain amount of time! Think about all the cool things you could be doing now. Why wait? Just start.
12. I want to support body diversity
Do you really think we were all meant to fit into a pair of size four jeans? Hell no.
If it’s hard for you to wrap your head around body diversity… it’s not your fault. We can easily blame the media for not showing us all types of bodies in all types of roles. It’s getting better, but we still have a long way to go.
If I were to promote weight loss on this blog, I’d be basically trying to help people all look the same. That’s not realistic, nor do I want that to be my reality.
13. Trying to lose weight made me do some crazy shit
Like putting a cookie in my mouth, chewing it, then spitting it out in the trash. And missing my period for nearly an entire year. And crying after eating a bag of M&Ms. Mentally beating myself up for actually chewing and swallowing a cookie (or five). Skipping social events because there would be “unhealthy” food there. Crying in dressing rooms.
How screwed up is all that?
I’ve been there. I have successfully dieted. I’ve lost weight. I’ve gained it back. I’ve been “toned.” I’ve lost muscle.
But after learning how to trust my body, work through my issues, and eat intuitively, the quality of my life has improved greatly. I feel like I’ve set myself free so I can live fully and do/eat whatever I want.
Turns out, when you address your deep issues head-on, give your body the control and you trust it… you naturally go for nutritious options because your body wants you to survive! How about that?
I know. I’m making it sound easy. If you want to learn more about intuitive eating and how to get started, I have a post about it here.
Diet culture teaches us to NOT trust our bodies, ignore hunger cues and that we are not good enough or don’t work hard enough unless we see “results.”
The only result I’m interested in is finding ways to get more out of life instead of finding more ways to eat less, weigh less and take up less space.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
This post means a lot to me. Through building Workweek Lunch and teaching people how to crack the code to easy, healthy eating without the stress, I’ve found a passion for empowering people to do MORE with their lives and learn how to trust their bodies again.
lindsey says
Well said…ALL OF IT!
Aimee says
So well written! Insightful and spot on about our diet culture. I am a recovering bulimic and food has always been my arch nemesis. Feeling empowered is key and loving myself is my main focus to stay away from the damaging cycles of an eating disorder. Thank you!
Sonja says
Thanks for this post, Talia! ❤️
Olivia says
This is all so true. “What’s the point?” And “life doesn’t start at your goal weight” spoke to me.
Cait says
Numbers 2, 3, 8, and 11 were particularly moving to me. I;m trying to find my way into a healthier relationship with food, weight, and body image despite never having an ED. Unhealthy relationships with food are something that I swear all women must deal with at some point in their lives. Thank you for your thoughtful honesty and encouragement, this is why yours is my favorite food prep blog. Printing this post out to hang in my kitchen for a daily reminder. <3
Veronica @ PASSION BY GIRL says
Great post. Unfortunately, I have to say that I mostly disagree with your points. Maybe it’s because I’m overweight myself and I feel that losing weight isn’t necessarily a bad thing when it’s caused me to be tired and depressed mostly.
I feel like this post is more for people who have less weight to lose (going back to point #7). I have quite a bit of weight to lose and losing the 50+ pounds will be really good for me. It’s not just about being thin and fitting into smaller clothes, but other benefits like having more energy, less risk of heart disease, better sleep, less stress, etc. It’s the intangible benefits that I’m mostly excited for, not necessarily the fact that I’ll be thinner (although that is a great plus since it’s hard to find flattering clothes in my size).
Like you said in point #12, not everyone is meant to be a size 4. I totally support body positivity and understand that there’s going to be some people out there who love themselves the way they are (at a normal weight or overweight) and don’t care about losing the weight and just want to be healthy- which goes back to your point #6, that some people can be overweight and healthy. Unfortunately, that’s not me and I’m not sure that’s representative of most overweight people. There are numerous risks with being overweight, including increased risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes. Also, there’s a risk of stroke, psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, and swelling in the legs and ankles (one of my overweight family members has this sometimes) . Right now I’m really unhealthy and currently working to change that. Is is bad to say that I really don’t like my body right now and I want to change it for the better? I want to have less fat and be more toned in my arms. Yes I’m trying to love myself the way I am but I want to grow and be a better person. One part of that is by losing weight and getting healthier. I guess I’m just having a hard time with the idea of self love and body positivity while losing weight. Like if I “really loved myself”, I wouldn’t be thinking about weight loss but instead loving my body as it is. But I like I said that’s not true for me. Most of my immediate family is overweight, so by losing weight and getting healthier, I want to change what’s been done in my family for years now if that makes sense. (although I am doing it for myself, too)
I agree with point #10 that losing weight is not going to solve any mental issues unless you confront them head on. I’ve had to go to therapy for stuff. I know that weight loss isn’t going to cure my issues. It’s just going to make me thinner and give me other health benefits.
In point #13 you said you had issues with weight loss, involving crying and other unhealthy eating habits. I personally cannot relate to that as I’ve had a mostly good weight loss journey so far. Yes I have unhealthy eating habits but not to the extent of starving myself/binging. For me, it’s mostly just overeating when I’m bored. I now understand how those experiences you had could turn you off from weight loss entirely and how focusing on good health/body positivity was better for you. I just want you to know that not everyone has experiences like that and there are healthy weight loss journeys and lots of positive success stories.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is always different perspectives when it comes to weight loss. I understand some people like yourself say it’s not good and we can’t focus on a number. On the other hand, I choose to focus on a # because it gives me goals to look towards – 10 pounds lost, 20 pounds lost, etc. The weight loss industry can be so dirty a lot of times but my goal is to try to change that through blogging. I think I can love myself and still lose weight. I can try to love my body (as hard as it is for me right now) and still understand that I want to be better for future me. I don’t want to be regretting my choices in 20 years.
Sorry if this all doesn’t make sense but I just wanted to share my opinion from someone who is 50+ pounds overweight, not someone who has 10-15 pounds to lose. And I want to say I’m sorry if my post comes off patronizing, I promise I’m not trying to be, I just want to share a different perspective.
workweeklunch says
Veronica! I so appreciate this amazing and thoughtful comment. This is supposed to be a space for discussion, not an echo chamber so I always welcome all opinions/points of view. I understand you’re coming from a place of losing way more weight than I personally have and I’m glad that it has improved your energy levels, sleep, stress etc.
Your comment about self love/body positivity while losing weight speaks to me, and I’m sure it speaks to many others. I said up top, you do you, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad about wanting to gain muscle and feel confident, even if losing weight is the path it takes to get there. It’s such a hard thing to navigate, and I don’t think it ever goes away. As we age, for example, it might not be about weight, but about wrinkles, saggy skin etc. It’s normal for people to want to change things about their appearance. What troubles me (and I’m sure you’ve been exposed to it) is the obsession aspect. Like, when our whole lives are just about ways to look better – and I just don’t want to add to that narrative with my platform.
I appreciate your perspective on my “weird shit” note about my weight loss experience. I think it’s because I (and so many other people) tried to lose weight even though I didn’t need to (and deep down, I didn’t want to). I’m so glad your journey has been so positive!! None of what you’re saying is patronizing, seriously. I love these types of responses because it’s so important to hear all sides. <3 Appreciate you and keep kicking ass!
Sorina says
Loved this post and I like your intuitive approach to this aspect of life – everything should be more intuitive, but damn, this whole weight loss thing sure puts a lot of pressure on most of us, which makes it feel in many cases more important than it should be.
It would be really cool to read more about how you dealt head-on with your confidence or self-love ‘deficiencies’ 🙂 . I also think this is the key to long-term happiness and it’s something I’m personally struggling with at the moment. I am aware of my limiting beliefs and issues, I know some are downright stupid, but I find that on a day to day basis I rarely see improvements in my behaviour or self-talk. I’m still acting out of old beliefs and always notice this after I’ve acted with low confidence / low self-love and kind of get angry on myself for not being conscious enough to restrain this automatic behavior and change it with something better.
Thanks for being so real and down to earth!