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Making Peace with Food: How Letting Go Gave Me More Control of My Life

July 22, 2020 by Virginia Boyles Leave a Comment

In March, as the pandemic brought uncertainty, closed gyms, and depleted grocery store shelves to the U.S., I noticed a trend on social media that worried me, though it didn’t surprise me.

There were memes everywhere about the “quarantine 15.” Influencers were squatting like their entire lives depended on it.

Everyone was eating a lot of pasta and feeling really, really bad about it. I started recognizing signs of body image issues everywhere I turned, and it makes complete sense to me. We responded to our lack of control by trying to control our bodies.

Through studying eating disorders, I learned that restricting food is often rooted in a feeling of powerlessness. Think about it: if your emotions, thoughts, or circumstances feel out of control, it makes perfect sense that you would focus on what does feel in control. We’re told that we have complete power over our body composition if we can simply find enough “willpower.”

In reality, weight is influenced by a lot of different factors, many of which are not our personal choices, and so we have far less control than we are led to believe.

Focusing on your weight actually takes away from other areas of your life that you do have power over.

The good ole days before diet culture got to me.

For example, the time you spend pursuing your personal goals, cultivating healthy relationships, and working to dismantle systems of oppression. Ironically, letting go of trying to control your body actually gives you more power — at least, that’s been my experience.

Food has been a source of anxiety for me for most of my life.

I started gaining weight in the first grade. This was when I first started to view my body as a problem I needed to solve.

Even growing up middle class with abundant access to food, I worried about my next meal. Food was the primary source of comfort from the shame raging inside me that I didn’t understand. My father became increasingly more controlling about my food intake and I started sneaking food at night so that he wouldn’t see. My relationship with food spiraled into a toxic one that entangled guilt and pleasure.

In hindsight, my heart breaks for my younger self. I was only a child. I should have been able to play and learn and grow without carrying so much shame. Unfortunately, it would take me many years to put down this burden.

Concerns about being judged for my weight constantly held me back from living my life.

I tried diet after diet, and all it did was make me more and more obsessed with food.

From my dieting days. I cropped my legs out because I didn’t like how they looked in shorts.

Over time, I started to accept that maybe a diet wasn’t going to work.

It would have to be a “lifestyle change” (a.k.a. a diet with better PR). Meal prep seemed to be the obvious solution. If I could be diligent about meal prep, I could eat a perfect diet all the time and I would naturally lose weight. That’s the mindset I was in when I first followed Workweek Lunch.

When Talia posted about Christy Harrison’s podcast, Food Psych, it was the first time I had heard of intuitive eating and learned about making peace with food.

My first thought was “this sounds like a great way to lose weight,” without all of the deep-rooted shame that held me back from living a full life. Of course, as I read through the principles of intuitive eating, I realized that this was fundamentally contrary to the aim of the approach, but it still took time for me to accept that.

That was something that immediately felt right as I started making peace with food. There was room for me to take the time I needed. I didn’t need to eat “perfectly.” I didn’t need to do a bunch of math to figure out if I could afford to eat a cookie that day. I couldn’t fail. It seemed almost too simple: I just had to listen to my own body.

making peace with food instagram post

Of course, it wasn’t as simple as that, living in our culture.

I started to notice that it wasn’t just me that struggled with food obsession and body image.

In fact, it was everywhere — in conversations with coworkers and friends, in my favorite TV shows, in ads for everything from diet pills to living room furniture (yes, I have seen body shaming in an ad for a couch). Developing my yoga practice, reading, following anti-diet dietitians and people of diverse body sizes on social media, and speaking more kindly to myself helped. Still, I often felt like I was alone on this journey.

Everything truly clicked once the WWL Meal Prep Program was launched. From the very first week, I felt a shift. I had a safe space. I had access to prep-friendly recipes without sifting through body shaming and suspect nutrition advice. There was a great community of like-minded people where we could talk about the joy of cooking and food without guilt or shame.

The amount of time I spent worrying about food plummeted.

Instead, I was able to feel pride about developing my cooking skills and focus on developing a healthier, more compassionate relationship with myself.

I have now been consistently meal prepping for two years. It’s a fundamental part of my weekly self-care routine that I can’t imagine living without. I love setting aside time every Sunday to cook, listen to podcasts, and do something for my future self.

Throughout the week, having my meals ready to go means that I don’t spend much energy deciding what I am going to eat. I can focus on what really matters to me, rather than my body composition. I haven’t known my weight for years because this number no longer dictates my self-worth.

All that said, I haven’t been immune to the desire for control in these uncertain times. Old coping mechanisms still come out, the difference now is that I can recognize it and have more compassion for myself in response.

It’s not an issue of willpower. It doesn’t mean I am regressing if my eating patterns and food choices fluctuate. I continue to move forward, knowing that now that I know the freedom I am capable of.

I have a level of control over my own life that I never had before now after making peace with food.

creating peace with food

Me today, unbothered by my legs, modeling for my friend’s body positivity podcast.

If you’re looking for where to start on your own journey towards making peace with food, check out these intuitive eating resources. After that, I recommend following some accounts that focus on body positivity and escaping the diet mentality; some I have found help are @thenutritiontea, @foodheaven, and @tiffanyima.

Finally, I can’t recommend the WWL Meal Prep Program enough for a rewarding tool to help heal your relationship with food. Get started with a 7-day free trial today.

Filed Under: Blog, Intuitive Eating Tagged With: intuitive eating, intuitve eating, meal prep

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Workweek Lunch | Talia Koren
Yes, it’s definitely easier said than done but t Yes, it’s definitely easier said than done but this is basically it. 👇🏼
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It seems counterintuitive but the answer to binge eating isn’t more restriction.
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Restriction is generally what fuels binge eating a good amount of time, although not always. This post is meant to address binge eating as a result of restriction, not Binge Eating Disorder. Just to make that clear!
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And I’m sending compassion and virtual hugs to anyone who is currently dealing with binge eating in any form.
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I used to try so hard to avoid chocolate, peanut m&ms (my fave), bread, pasta, cereal and sweets in general by not having them in the house. But guess what I used to think about ALL THE TIME? All the foods I restricted. And when I had an opportunity to eat them, I ate A LOT of them because I thought it was my last chance. Which led to more guilt and more restriction followed by, you guessed it! More binge eating. It’s such a rollercoaster.
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I started making peace with these foods by buying them for the house one at a time until I felt more in control around them. Until I forgot they were even there. Restriction gives food power over us. Permission does the opposite.
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Now I hardly ever binge eat thanks to incorporating all the foods I like into my daily/weekly eating routine AND eating regularly throughout the day, which is why I don’t get ravenous at night. It took time but I feel a lot better.
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Where are you in your journey when it comes to this? What are steps you’re taking/you’ve taken to help make peace with your binge foods?
It feels like a year went by since we put out last It feels like a year went by since we put out last Wednesday’s new meal plan. 😅
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It’s been a crazy and stressful time to be alive yeah? If this week you noticed a change in your appetite caused by stress - that’s NORMAL. Do your best to roll with it and practice self compassion. And maybe cooking can be a good distraction while also giving you an chance to take care of your future self.
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👈🏼Swipe through to see what we have featured this week in the WWL Program for members!
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👍🏼All of these recipes are either new or freshly updated! Lots to try, and if these don’t inspire you, we have HUNDREDS of meal prep recipes to choose from. You can create your own meal plans in our program! Yay flexibility!
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👇🏼We have:
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🍯Honey Dijon Salmon Greens & Orzo Bowls
(Vegan alt: Everything Tofu)
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🥦Teriyaki Turkey Meatballs
(Vegan alt: Chickpea balls)
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🥕Sheet Pan Veggie Soup (vegan)
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🍓Berry Parfaits with Homemade Granola
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🧇Nut Butter & Jelly Waffles!
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❓Which are you excited to try? Share below!
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🙌🏼And if you want to dive in with this plan and our recipes, planning tools and private community, sign up for the WWL Program in my bio link! Can’t wait to see you inside and help you have a little less stress in your life.
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Photos and recipes by me and @pinkleme, our assistant recipe developer, meal plan production by @alyssalash28
This weekend’s prep was super fun and fairly eas This weekend’s prep was super fun and fairly easy! I still had plenty of time this weekend to enjoy the farmer’s market, watch movies with my partner, finish an audiobook and do some deep cleaning.
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👈🏼Swipe left to see the cost breakdown of what I spent on groceries this week. We consistently spend the most on produce each week thanks to having a stocked pantry!
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👇🏼MEALS
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BTW most of these might not end up in the WWL Program - more on that later! But I hope they give you some good inspiration.
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🥑Mission-Inspired Burrito Bowls with avocado, crema and pico de gallo on the side! I made the tastiest carne asada for this recipe in my cast-iron.
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🥦🧀Broccoli cheddar soup!
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🌯Roasted sweet potato and chickpea wraps with avocado, kale and radishes. These are meant to be eaten cold or room temp,
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🫐Homemade Granola Parfaits! These are coming to WWL tomorrow for members - learn more in my bio link. Yes, the granola did get soft but I didn’t mind!
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🍿Snacks: celery, homemade hummus, grapes and homemade popcorn.
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📆All of these meals will be eaten by Thursday! We reheat them in the microwave as needed.
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🤷🏻‍♀️I don’t know the calories because I don’t count!
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😍Feels so good to be back into a regular work/prep routine after the holidays and I’m super motivated by our personal financial goals for 2021 to keep going.
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❓Got questions about this prep? Drop them below!
When I stopped dieting (restricting food to be the When I stopped dieting (restricting food to be the smallest version of me) my world opened up.
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✨It was like all of the sudden I had the time and mental energy to focus on other things like side hustling, dating, planning my move to Colorado, exploring NYC with my friends more and reading more. Oh and learning how to cook with regular butter and flour. 👩🏻‍🍳That’s what I remember about that season of my life. I can’t believe how much time I used to spend in the gym, counting calories and generally avoiding social situations where there would be food  that was outside of my control. And the stress!! All that stress and guilt probably did more harm than what I was eating.
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✨Over the weekend I received more DMs than usual about my food choices and how I “balance” certain things I eat. The truth is I don’t think about it that much anymore. It’s taken years to get here but I can trust my body and thanks to cooking, it’s not a challenge for me to incorporate a variety of health-promoting AND flavorful ingredients.
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✨It’s hard to be fully present when our minds are cluttered with thoughts around food based in guilt and fear (thanks to diet culture). Health is important. But is the focus on it holding us back from actually just living?? We all end up in the same place - I know that’s morbid but it’s true.
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✨Something to think about: does the way you think about food serve you or hold you back? No judgement no matter where you are in your journey.
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✨And if you find the diet mentality helps you or is positive, I’m not here trying to change your mind. My aim is to help folks who may be ready to explore new ways to think about food outside of what’s “good” or “bad.”
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✨This mentality switch doesn’t happen overnight! But I hope this post helps you become more aware of how you think about food. Always come from a place of curiosity when it comes to your relationship with food, not judgement.
Here are mine, what are yours? 👇🏼👇🏼 . Here are mine, what are yours? 👇🏼👇🏼
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🙏🏼I hope if you’re stuck on what to make for the week, this can give you some inspiration.
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🙌🏼These are all easy, versatile and the types of meals I make when I need a break from recipe development - which sometimes requires me (and my assistant developer) to eat food we aren’t necessarily in the mood for. It’s part of the job!
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Stay tuned in stories to watch my meal prep session go down today!! Looking forward to this week already... hoping it’s better than the first week of 2021 🙏🏼
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RECIPES for these meals can be found in the WWL Program for members (except for the freezer preps - they’re not ready yet). Learn more about our weekly flexible meal plans, recipes and grocery lists in my bio link! You can jump in on a free trial before you commit.
Last Saturday I prepped 32 dinners for the freezer Last Saturday I prepped 32 dinners for the freezer and we cracked into a few of them this week! 😅Here’s how the freezer prep stir fry went down.👇🏼
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🥦I froze chopped chicken in soy sauce and honey (a very easy stir fry sauce), along with bell peppers, carrots, broccoli, garlic and ginger.
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😮You’re SUPPOSED to blanch veggies (flash cook them in boiling water) prior to freezing, but I didn’t. And it was fine.
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⏰We took the stir fry bag out of the freezer and put it in the fridge at 12pm and cooked at 6pm that day. So the ingredients were partially frozen. I think that’s why I overcooked my chicken - I thought it was more frozen than it was. This takes practice!
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🍜We cooked noodles on the side (my partner is obsessed with noodles) to go with this meal.
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👩🏻‍🍳Was it the best stir fry I ever had? No, mostly because of my chicken mistake. But it was still WAY better than the stir fries I tried to make when I first learned how to cook. And I’m excited to eat it again in a few weeks since we have another batch waiting for us in the freezer!
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🤷🏻‍♀️Also - we got 3 servings out of this. Not 2 like I was hoping for. But I’m not complaining! My partner enjoyed the leftovers for lunch the next day.
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👉🏼You don’t have to use a plastic bag for these freezer meals. As I explained in my previous post about freezer meals, this was our first go at this and I want to make sure we LIKE this method of cooking before investing money into specific reusable bags and containers for this. I’m all for using less plastic. And saving money. And being practical.
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🙏🏼I hope you find my sharing this experience useful! If you can’t prep full meals on the weekend, this method of freezer prep still helps save time, money and mental energy on busy weeknights.
It doesn’t matter how real I try to keep it here It doesn’t matter how real I try to keep it here on IG, it’s impossible to share everything. So this is a reminder that IG content is never the full picture! And perfect eating does. Not. Exist.
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😤Finding balance is soooo hard. And once you find it, something in life changes and you’re thrown off again. Circumstances change. Priorities change. The weather changes. And we can only control so much.
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🌮For me, balance is very much about meal prepping to reduce the stress of figuring out and dealing with every meal while leaving room for spontaneity.
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🗓If you’ve been here for awhile, you know I leave 1/3 of meals in my personal weekly plan open for random meals, takeout, etc.
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👉🏼Even in the WWL Program (more info in my bio link), our meal plans consist of 14-16 out of 21 planned meals per week (that you can change of course!) because planning every meal is unrealistic, miserable and will eventually lead to food waste.
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🍔I even plan around my cravings! If I’m craving a burger on a Tuesday but still have meals to eat that I prepped, I pencil in a burger date with my partner for later in the week. It helps us avoid food waste AND honor cravings. I’m not restricting by not “allowing” myself to eat a burger the moment I want it - I’m being practical and eating the food available to me first and having a burger later. This is a way I’ve built trust around my body and its cravings.
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💕TL/DR: food choices are personal. They’re different for everyone. You know what’s best for you. And You can never know the full story based on one IG post or one meal your friend/family member orders at a restaurant.
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Hope you have a relaxing weekend 🙌🏼
If you’re a member of the WWL Program this brand If you’re a member of the WWL Program this brand new meal plan is waiting for you in your inbox! 💌
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🌮Every week we share new and updated recipes so you never get bored and don’t have to spend too much time searching for meals that will inspire you (and also work for meal prep). I’m so excited for you to try our new curry taco recipe!!
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👉🏼About the WWL Program:
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🙌🏼It’s not a diet or lifestyle or reset or rigid plan. We provide a little structure but ultimately you choose what’s on your plate. The goal is to save you time, money and mental energy while eating homecooked food. NOT weight loss. 👉🏼We don’t even include calories or macros in the recipes.
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🗓Each meal plan we send covers 15/21 meals for the week. We leave meals open for you to move things around - also planning every meal for every day is miserable and unrealistic. So we don’t recommend it.
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✏️You can make your OWN custom meal plans and change the one we send out with our meal planning tools that work well on mobile, tablet and desktop.
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🍏A grocery list that you can change and email to yourself will automatically generate no matter how you change the meal plans making the process super fast and easy.
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👯‍♀️Lastly, we have an incredible private community for members that’s completely safe for those in eating disorder recovery. We just talk about meal prep and cooking, not dieting/restriction/weight loss etc. it’s pretty amazing!
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🔗Join today in my bio link! We offer a 7 day free trial and discounted long term memberships if you’re not into subscriptions.
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❓Got questions about this plan or the WWL Program? Drop them below!
Who here has been personally victimized by diet ad Who here has been personally victimized by diet ads in the last few weeks? 🙋‍♀️
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I've seen them on my feeds for intermittent fasting, keto, whole30 and more.
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Seeing these ads only adds fuel to the fire of wanting to overhaul everything in the new year, especially the way we eat and move.
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I'm here to tell you right now: there's absolutely nothing you *need* to fix about the way you eat and move right now.
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Overhauling doesn't work anyway. Too many changes at once lands you right back to where ou started in a few weeks or days.
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Instead, let's continue eating "normally" whatever that looks like for you. And if there's anything you want to adjust so you can feel better on the inside (feel more awake, feel more energized, feel more satisfied etc) do it in baby steps. Maybe that means actually eating breakfast in the morning. Maybe it means ending work 15 minutes early to get a satisfying dinner ready to go.
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Be realistic.
Be compassionate with yourself.
Lower the stakes.
Lower your expectations.
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I need to hear this advice too! I'm still struggling to get into a workout routine that feels doable. My sleep schedule is a mess. I have no idea how to relax properly. Luckily with meal prep, the way I eat is very consistent. 
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We already have enough stress on our plates with the new year and getting back into work and school. Eat the way you normally eat because we all have bigger fish to fry in 2021 than trying to arbitrarily shrink our bodies to meet today's insane beauty standards.
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